Friday, April 17, 2009

Rahnamaye khodshenasi for boys

JUST FOR LAUGH!!! (the 60 step to define whether or not you're a jigar or an amale)

OK! boys and girls here's the latest news, since nobody else was going to do this, I am taking all the responsibility. Note that this is not based on personal experience only but many many other factors such as environmental conditions, family and friends, genetics, etc... So although a boy is eventually responsible for his own "amalegi", you can blame it on other factors just to make you feel better, but remember! the result is the same! and you will end up being an" amale" no matter what and you can't change it unless you pass the test!

in this note:

Amale = Javad
daaf = jigar, tikke,

here's the list that you need to go through! since some of "amale"'s might not speak English I have to write it in Persian! Sorry Daffi boys, all my love 4 u ;)

1. agar sobh ba sedaye alarm bidar mishid va bedoone snooze kardan az khab miparin o roozetoon o shooroo mikonin shoma yek amale hastid pas hamin alan az khoondane baghiyeye note khoddari konid!

2. agar ta hala hich girl friendi nadashtin baz ham in email o nakhoonid shoma yek amaleye kamelid! va KHEYR! ham mahdekoodakiye shoma girlfriend hesab nemishe!

3. age girlfriend dashtin amma dar hade jozve o harf o telephone ya coffee ba faseleye yek miz beynetoon boode shoma baz ham amale ye kamelid va in email o nakhoonid!

age in 3 marhale ro pass kardid, mitoonid shooroo konid!

4. agar alarm e toon ro sob ha snooze mikonid ye modat, baad miparid lebas mipooshid o mirid biroon shoma baaz yek amale hastid

5. agar shower migirid har rooz vali shower e shoma faghat 5 min tool mikeshe baaz ham yek amale be hesab miaayid, sorry! ye pesare daaf hadeaghal 30 min tool mikeshe!

6. agar moohatoon o aslan hich no geli nemizanid shoma kheyli kheyli amaleye shooti hastid, hatta vase modele moohaye shelakhtegi ham GEL lazeme!

7. age har rooz gym nemirid, ya mirid vali hanooz size bazoohatoon 3 barabare ghabl az gym raftanetoon nashode shoma yek amale hastid

8. agar vaghti ye dokhtar o mibinid ba yek negah ashegh mishid, moteasefam vali shoma yek amaleye kamel hastid!

9. agar be joz dokhtaraye daaf az dokhtaraye amale khoshetoon miyad, ya hatta ye zamani khoshetoon oomade, shoma yek amale mahsoob mishavid.

10. agar vaghti ye dokhtar o mibinid ye rooz zang mizanid o ye rooz namizanid chon fekr mikonid injoori aziz mishid, shoma yek amaleye tarsoo hesab mishid.

11. agar az ye dokhtar khoshetoon miyad, vali enghad toolesh midid ta dokhtare mipare, shoma baz ye amaleye tarsooye be tamam mani hesab mishid!

12. agar az ye dokhtar khoshetoon miyad vali mitarsid ke ye roozi bahash break up konid o ghalbetoon mishkane, vase hamin aslan shooroo ham nemikonid, shoma yek amaleye BOZDEL mahsoob mishid.

13. age ta hala hich no zabane khareji yad nagereftid sorry you are an amale! boro saerto bekoob be divar.

14. age poker ya hich no baziye varaghi balad nisti shoma yek amale hastid

15. age ahle hich no' dood o noshidani nisti chon mosbati shoma yek amale hastid, amma age haletoon bad mishe oon estesnas, manam chon medical conditions halim mishe ino mibakhsham!

16. age ta hala Benz ya BMW savar nashodi, hatta rent nakardi, hatta maale hamsayatoon o savar nashodi, hatta ye bar lamsesh nakardi, shoma KAMELAN amaleyid!

17. age nesfe daramadedtoon o karje gfetoon nemikonid, va nesfe dige vase allafiyo trip zadan, shoma yek amale khasis bi hesab ketab mahsoob mishid!

18. age be joz sooratetoon jaye digeyi ro shave nemikonid shoma yek amaleyid!

19. age az inke lokht beshid dar public khejalat mikeshid, shoma yek amaleye bozdelid!

20. age nemidoonid D&G behtare ya CK ya "you speak Prada!" be chi eshare mikone, shoma yek amale classic hastid!

21. age filme moredealaghatoon Titanic e ya ye zamani hatta Titatinc boode shoma amalaeye javade asilid!

22. age hich ahangi az Homeira Mahasti Hayde tooye ipodetoon peyda mishe, ya asan nemidoonid ipod o chejoori minevisan, shoma ye amaleye motehajjer hastid!

23. age vaghti dava mikonin ba gf etoon ta roozha dep mizanid shoma ye amaleye ehsasati hastin va be hich dardi nemikhorin.

24. age hich pet i ta hala nadashtin ya az pet ha mitarsin hanooz, shoma ye amaleyid!

25. age nemidoonin "laetica costa" kiye, shoma kamelan amaleyid!

26. age celebrity moredealaghatoon "angelina Julie" shoma 100% amaleyid!!!

27. age bishtar az ye saal az relationshipe ghablitoon gozashte, va hanooz hatta yek date ham naraftid, shoma yek amaleye royayi hastid!

28. age ta hala hichkio otto nazadid va baad az 15 minute piyadash nakardid, shoma yek amaleye bi bokhar hastid!

29. age ye nafar shomaro rad karde, va hanooz maniye "just freind" o nemifahmid, hanooz tooye jam cheshm o abroo miyan vase dokhtare shoma ye amaleye kheng e bedoone social skills hastid!

30 age brittney spears ya christina agulera va Jennifer lopez morede alaghatoon boode ye rooozi, shoma kamelan amaleye badsaligheyi hastid!

31. age balaye 400$ hanooz kharj nakardid vaseye hichkodoom az gf hatoon shoma amaleye khasisi hastid!

32. age "cafe kaakh" o "Shaar" ta hala naraftid ya nemidoonid kojas shoma amaleye parti hastid!

33. age ta hala nafahmidin ke dar o bayad baaz konin vaseye dokhtar khanoomha , poshte sar eshon raah berid, va gol biyarin vasashoon hadeaghal maahi yek baar shoma yek amaleye aghab moonde hastid!

34. age nemidoonin key bayad be dokhtare morede alaghatoon begin cheghad khoshgele, cheghad ba namake, cheghad sexy o jazab e shomaamaleyid hastid ke hichi az in zendegi yaad nagereftin! berid bemirid!
age vaghti break up kardin to telephone behesh migin ke kehyli khoshgel boode, baz ham berid bemirid!

35. age az avalin nafari ke dar morede gf etoon soal mikonin MAMANETOON e shoma yek amaleye immature hastid!

36. age tedade doost haye pesaretoon 8 barabare tedade doosthaye dokhtaretoone va hich talashi baraye be ham zadane in nesbat nemikonin shoma yek amaleye Naab hastid!

37. age telephone ro bar midarid va be dooste pesaretoon migid azizam, eshtebahi ham naboode, shoma yek amaleye Gay hastid!

38. age raftid camping, va yeki az doostaye dokhtareton dasht ghargh mishod, shoma naraftid nejatesh bedid chon tarsidid ke shayad touchesh konin o oza bad beshe, shoma yek amaleye lost e bitajrobe hastid!

39.age raftin date ba ye dokhtar khanoom, vali mogheye pay kardan gozashtin pool e receipt o bebine o deldel kardid ke pay konid, shoma yek amaleye besiyar khasis hastid baz ham berid bemirid chon hich DAAFI ba shoma nemimoone!

40. 40 adade moghdasiye, mer30 ta inja ba ma boodid Jigar ha! albate chon kheyli jigari hatman gf dari, vali age nadari mitooni applicationeto befresti ;)

41. age tajob mikonin ye dokhtar khanoom faghat az heykale shoma khoshesh miyad va na hich chize digeyi, berid yekam donya ro begardin, chon shoma yek amaleye dokhtar nadide hastid!

42. age hanooz donbale dokhtari hastid ke aftab mahtab nadidatesh va khodesh o unaavailable
mikone ta be nazar ba arzesh biyad, shoma 200% amale hastid!
dokhtari ke bedoone chi mikhad o chi hast o ki hast ye daafe vagheyiye, na kasi ke khodesh o be zoor unavailable mi kone!
bale, amale ba amale, daaf ba daaf!

43. age ye dokhtar mikhad ravabete physici dashte bashe faghat va na ehsasi, age nemitoonin behesh ehteram bezarin, va asheghesh mishin berin hamin alan emailetoon o ham bebandin, shoma ye amaleye bi erade hastin!

44. age avalin chizi ke tooye dokhtar shoma ro jazb mikone, chizi gheyre physici e shoma ye amaleye nabeghe hastin.

45. age senetoon bish az 25 saale va dar hafte bish az 25 saat mashghoole dars khondan hastin, shoma yek amale hastin ke ta
vaghti mimire dars mikhone o hichi az kalameye fun navafahme!

46. age zoodtar az yek maah pa be salmooni nemizarin, be noe shampooye mootoon deghati nemikonin, shoma amale hastin, mage ino nagoftam ghablan?

47. age ravabeteto say mikoni secret negah dari chon az harfaye mardom mitarsi, baaz ham ye amaleye conservativi,
ye jigare vagheyi nemitarse az hichchi!

48.alan ke dare tabestoon miyad o vaghte camping o beach e age hanooz be fekre tan gereftan o gym o laser nayoftadi, bedoon ke amaleyi, daaf ha ham negat nemikonan, bye bye!

49. age fahmidi ke amale shodi, va in email kheyli narahatet kard, bedoon ke ye amaleye bi zarfiyati!
age shoma fahmidin ke amale hastin va tasmim gereftin yekam zendegiton o avaz konin behetoon tabrik migam, omidi hast,
vali age amale shodin o enkar kardin, shoma yek amaleye eslah na pazirin! vase hamishe az tarafe daaf ha khodafez!

50. age ta inja residi, hatman joze ma'dood adamayi hasti ke ma daaf ha date kardim, chon be joz oon ha
ma hanooz hich jigari nadidim!

51. Age zamani ke Iran boodi majmooee sa'ate hozooret dar Dizin zire 1000 e ye amale hasti ke ski behet nayoomade bayad beri football bazi koni (Deghat konid ke whistler ghabool nist, to Vancouver hame ski bazan !)

52. Age kado Valentine bara GF et gift card mikhari ye amale hasti.

53. Age ta hala ye shab too kalantari nakhabidi (Albate shamele khabidan too kalantari be jorm e fa'aliat e siasi nemishe) ye amale hasti !

54. Age fekr mikoni vaghti az ye dokhtari khoshet oomad harekate baadi khastgarie ye ...

55.Age ba vojoode inke kheili amale'ee miri be ye duffi pishnahaad midi sabet kardi ke vaghean amale'ee !!

56. Age har mah ye jean Diesel nemikharidi ya aslan nemidooni Diesel too tehran namayandegi dare ya aslan farghe Diesel ba Khavar ro nemidooni ye amale'ee !

57. Age akse facbooketoon o sali ye bar avaz mikonin shoma ye amale hastin!

58. Age too facebook adama ro stuck mikonin, va kolia adam add kardin ke faghat ye bar az door salam aleyk dashtin bashoon shoma ye amaleyid!

59. age shoma doctor, khoshtip, khoshheykal, khoshroo, boronze, ghavi, ba khonevade, bahal, jazab, artist, bamaze, bahoosh, jigar, pooldar hastin, mashine sports mirooni, ye khooneye khoshgelam tarafaye Cypress dari, hamin ja email o reply kon, chon az ghadim goftan, DAFF ha ba DAFF ha dige ;)

60. tabrik migam shoma ye jigarin :) man yeki proud of you!

remember this was only for laughs, don't take it personally!
again! this note doesn't represent author's personal belifs!

Yours,

Daffii

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